We need you. … “For an emotionally dependent man, this is likely to feel like a sign of rejection.” Which ties into another aspect of emotional dependency, one that should serve as extra encouragement to take some of the steps mentioned above if you find yourself in this situation. 4. the state of being psychologically or physiologically dependent on a drug or alcohol. Tossing and turning in bed like a convicted prisoner, unable to sleep, is one of the most unpleasant experiences we could have.…, Many things can influence our health and, therefore, our quality of life. And our partner, however well-meaning, has nowhere near as much access to this “inner child” as (at least potentially) we do. Being emotionally dependent on someone Answers. Narcissists; Blog. You are emotionally dependent when you are not taking full, 100% responsibility for your own feelings - for compassionately nurturing your life feelings of loneliness, helplessness over others, heartache, heartbreak, sorrow and grief, and for not learning about how you are treating yourself and what you are telling yourself that is causing your wounded feelings of anxiety, depression, victim hurt, guilt, shame, … According to the DSM-IV (the manual on behavioral disorders), emotional dependence is characterized by “excessive need” that can lead to submissive and overly attached conduct that is often accompanied by a fear of separation. Often they have lofty pursuits that are never pursued realistically or tested. Dependence. Love is easily confused with emotional dependency because they both usually come with intense feelings around another person. You are attaching your worth to … The choice is independence or dependence. It must be said that not only is emotional dependence not love, but also in most cases the emotionally dependent person displays the worst possible lack of love: a lack of love for oneself. © 2003 by Saunders, an imprint of Elsevier, Inc. All rights reserved. In order to better manage your emotions, you have to take responsibility for your part in the problems you face. For someone who is emotionally dependent, being alone means being vulnerable and unprotected. Emotionally dependent is more of one person using the other as a crutch. Miller-Keane Encyclopedia and Dictionary of Medicine, Nursing, and Allied Health, Seventh Edition. When they feel that they are losing control of a situation or the upper hand in an argument, they will resort to crying, screaming, and other acts of intimidation to restore the balance in their favor. In fact, the root cause of emotional dependence is a negative self image. Physical, emotional, and sexual abuse can cause psychological problems that last years or even an entire lifetime. A child may have failures during this stage because his parents give him conflicting messages about his capacities;  he is unable to interiorize those qualities and needs an adult by his side to feel secure. Emotionally invalidates, guilt-trips and gaslights her children. In that moment you’re aware of how your energy to love can fade away because you’re so exhausted from the dependent relationship, in which you assume responsibility over the other person because they don’t know how to make decisions for themselves. Articles and opinions on happiness, fear and other aspects of human psychology. The lack of self-esteem from childhood on is the main cause of emotional dependency. 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